When You Were My Girl
by harumscarum
Summary: OneShot Songfic, Derek's POV, set during season 2 finale at the Prom when he is 'looking' at Meredith.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, that honour goes to the wonderfully talented Shonda Rhimes. Nor do I claim any ownership to the song 'When you were my girl,' sung by Anthony Callea. In my dreams, however, McDreamy is all mine! **

**A/N: Just a little idea I had after hearing this song. This oneshot songfic from Derek's POV is set during the last episode of Season 2, when Derek is dancing with Addison, but 'looking' at Meredith. Enjoy, and please review, it keeps me sane!**

There she goes, dancing with the vet, pressed up against his body instead of mine. The one girl that I want, but that I just can't have. And here's the crazy part – it's all my fault. I could have just followed my heart instead of doing what's right, but I had to be THAT guy – the good guy. The guy who decides to give his marriage another shot, even when he knows it's over. It wasn't as though I was giving up some fling, I truly loved her. Actually, I still do love her, and I know that somewhere, deep down, she probably still loves me. Unfortunately, I've lost the right to even ask, to feel that love from her. I lost that right when I let her go.

**_When you were my girl, there were times you'd look at me  
And I knew exactly, how it felt to be loved  
When you were my girl, I don't know if I told you  
But whenever I'd hold you, it scared me so much  
_**

Working together makes this all the more worse. Addie wanted me to stop talking to her, but I knew that I couldn't do that. Hell, I can't even stop thinking about her all the time – when I'm with Addie or in surgery, at the trailer or simply when I step in an elevator and smell that flowery smell that I know belongs to her – how the hell was I supposed to stop talking to her. Then we went through the 'friends' phase, where all three of us tried to be friends. I could never truly be her friend - there's too much history there – but it was good to be able to have her in my life without feeling guilty. It was selfish of me to try and have the best of both worlds, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't imagine not having her in my life, it devastates me to think otherwise. Well, after practically calling her a whore, I guess she's only in my life as a colleague now – I screwed that friendship up royally with my jealousy.

**_Not a day goes by I don't think of you  
(Do you...ever...think...of me when you're alone)  
Or I don't ask myself why  
(Do you...ever...wonder how things have gone)  
If everything's so perfect now  
(Do you ever...think of me and start to cry)  
Why do I cry all the time  
I didn't cry  
When you were my girl  
When you were my girl  
_**

When we were together, I took her for granted. I never told her that I was married, led her on to think we could have a proper relationship, even suggested that we come up with some 'rules.' Well that all went to hell when Addie showed up that day. Then, I took her for granted when I had to choose between her and Addie, assuming that she would always be there to make the choice easy for me. I didn't expect her to be mad at me after I told her all the sordid details, I didn't expect her to be mad at me for deliberating over whether to sign the divorce papers, and I sure as hell didn't expect her to declare her love for me, to beg me to pick her, choose her and love her.

_**  
When I was your man, if I took you for granted  
Please understand it was my foolish heart  
Girl you were my best friend, baby your love complete me  
I loved you completely, just as you are  
**_

How did things get so screwed up? Ah, but I know the answer to that one – it wasn't when Addie showed up here in Seattle, or when Meredith and I embarked on our love affair, or even when Addie cheated on me with Mark. It's something much smaller than that – everything changed when Addie and I stopped noticing each other, or rather, when I got so immersed in my work that everything around me failed to register. That doesn't excuse Addie's actions, but we both played our roles. It's heartbreaking that it led me to hurt the woman that I love most – Meredith. I've never even told her that I love her. I've told Addison a while back that Meredith wasn't some cheap fling, that I fell in love with her, but I still haven't confessed it to Meredith. I know that she loves me, or that she used to before I broke her. God, I did to her what she then did to George – what her mother did to her father. And she doesn't know that I still love her. How much it kills me to be watching her when I should be focusing on Addie, the woman I'm dancing with, the woman I'm married to. How much I hate the fact that my veterinarian is touching her with his hands. I should be the one touching her, holding her, never letting go. But I guess I'll never get the chance to do that now – not after everything I've done to her.

**_  
And if you couldn't feel that, then how I regret  
That I never told you, all the things I should've said  
But I guess that's the one chance I'll never get  
_**

Oh God, she's looking at me. She dancing with Finn and looking back at me. She's not breaking eye contact either. I can't help it, I can't look away. I know she's hating me for putting her in this position, but she looks so gorgeous – how could I possibly look away? Truth be told, I've been looking at her almost all night, ever since I saw her coming down those stairs looking as gorgeous as ever. And then she went to Finn. Because Finn is her boyfriend. Not me. Because I'm Married. And I didn't choose her. Why is she looking at me like that? She looks angry at me, more so than she has been lately. Oh SHIT, I've been giving her my "McDreamy" look. How did I do that without even noticing? She looks strange, almost as if she's having trouble breathing, like she's about to cry.

**_  
Not a day goes by I don't think of you  
(Do you...ever...think…of me when you're alone)  
Or I don't ask myself why  
(Do you...ever...wonder how things have gone)  
If everything's so perfect now  
(Do you ever...think of me and start to cry)  
Why do I cry all the time  
I didn't cry  
When you were my girl  
When you were my girl  
_**

She's leaving the vet on the dance floor, now's my chance to go after her. I need to fix this between us, I need to make sure she's okay. I'll just tell Addie I'm checking on some patients, I don't want her to get suspicious. I just have to go and see Meredith right now. She's running away from me, telling me to leave her alone. She's obviously distraught about something. I follow her into an empty exam room – I probably shouldn't have done that, but I have to make this right. I need make things right between us, the way they used to be. When she was my girl.

_**  
I don't understand why  
We let something so beautiful  
Just fade and die  
We should have tried  
One more time  
When you were my girl  
When you were my girl**_

**A/N: So, I hoped that you liked it, and please review.**


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